I’m Not Sorry You’re Hurt, But…

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These “I’m Not Sorry You’re Hurt” article goes viral in this last couple days. I saw it being shared plenty of times in my facebook timeline, mostly from mothers -and some fathers- out there.
Yes, that is one kind of parenting article.

To summarize the whole article, basically it’s telling us how Indonesian parents have this kind of tendency of become overly-protective to their child. We tend to protect them by creating their safety bubble in order to separate them from anything that cause any discomfort. We would feel sorry if they hurt, and we don’t want it to happen.
Yet, based on these French style of parenting, that was totally wrong.

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This article is pointing out to this main opinion: we have let our children being familiar with disappointment and discomfort feelings since the very earlier stage of life. They have to know how sadness and frustrations feel like. We should not keep them in joy and happiness all of the time, since it would make them living in their own illusion of ideal life.
If their feelings are protected in comfortable state during their childhood, it might put them into shock, when they grown up and found out that life isn’t as kind as they remember. It might tear them apart, when they finally know, how cruel the world could be and their parents couldn’t protect them forever.

Disappointment and discomfort feelings are facts of life they should face it.
We shouldn’t feel sorry whenever they cry uncomfortable out of some frustations. It would teach them how life it is.

Well….
For some part, I do agree.
My mom and my grandma used to scream loudly to me, whenever I let my little Bum exploring himself freely. They shouted me to be careful of he fell down and hurt himself, while I tend to take some risk of him falling down and bumping himself here and there.
I always whisper to his ears, that it’s okay to fall down.
It’s okay to have a little scratch and a little pain here and there. He should not ever be afraid of being hurt and I’m not sorry if he’s hurt.
Because i know, it will make him stronger each time.

BUT!
I do disagree about “should not keep them in joy and happiness all the time, since it would make them living in their own illusion of life” part.
Whose parents who doesn’t want protecting their child’s happiness?
I believe this firmly: childhood happiness is the firm foundation of a genuine adult. If there’s a stage in life where people should be happy, that’s during the childhood.
A happy child is a root of adult happiness.
A child that lives with fear, learns to be apprehensive. While a child lives with security, learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

Yes, I won’t feel sorry if he’s must be hurt.
But for letting him crying out of frustrations just in order to feel how frustration feels like?
But for letting him feeling discomfort just so he knows how cruel life might be?
That’s out of my own options.
I disagree that to the opinion that a constant happiness would make them living in an illusion.
Constant happiness that comes from total affection wouldn’t become an illusion, but giving him some sense of security in his early stage of live.
Constant happiness doesn’t mean of spoiling himself for sure.
There’s a thin line between, and that is parent’s responsibility to draw it clearly.
As well as the responsibilities to be there beside him, when he finally encounter a true disappointment and frustations.

But when the time comes, he should have know already, that no matter what, he’s loved.
His constant happiness during his childhood time already told him so.

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*demikianlah cerocos emak newbie yang sok tau soal parenting ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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