Taking pictures, freezing moments; that’s what I used to do from time to time. The scenery that took my breath away, the event that I enjoyed much, the food I liked, the person I treasured most, and many more to be framed into still images, where I could look back one day in the future. Those are memories I would like to keep dearly forever close; who’s gonna take a picture of something they hate afterall? As I clicked the shutter, I alone decided, it was things worth to remember.
One single picture could tell a thousand words, they said. Sure, it is. Beyond the image itself, there were captured the ambience, the sense, the smell, and mostly, the feeling we had that day. Laughters, tears, smiles, happiness, sadness; all at once would be recalled just with a single glance towards a picture in the hand. Relieving, yet scary at the same time, I should say. Life keeps turning and changing, nothing will last eternally. How would it be, if one day we decide to forget what once we decided to remember? As the memory been preserved still, would it be a torturing reminder?
I think, the most painful one is to see a laughter captured, while the joy is no longer there. To feel the intimacy shown, while the love has torn apart. To sense the presence presented, while the person has been long gone. It’s the gap between memories and reality over time that kills slowly from the inside; haunting and suffocating. Rousing the grief, recalling the heartache, reviving the agony. All at once.
And there it was, those devil hided itself in between hundreds of picture I recently had. I saw innocent laughters and ingenuous happiness; it was a joy of reuniting togetherness captured. The joy that formed itself over the wall of clueless mind, and been scattered not so far away after. That was hurt, inevitably. The picture brought the memory that pierced right away inside, as it was one thing I treasured much once. But the joy is no longer there, love has torn apart, and the person I thought I knew has been long gone without a notice. Life goes on turning and changing, what left still is just a frame of smiling two.
It’s aching terribly, but it’s alright. What has done is done; who could change the past afterall? A frame of memories is just a reminder of what we had once, and now it’s time to let go. As today’s special moment will be vanishing into memory, the pain I experience at this present day will soon become tomorrow’s memory as well. That’s a part of process, thus I should have no worries towards the future.
This too shall pass, and become memories, as always. No matter bitterly it is, there will be another time in the future, where I glance back to its frame with a smile on my face.
And yes, it will still worth to remember. Once I’m healed.