Two months ago, on the process of joining #30HariMenulisSuratCinta, I wrote this post: https://saratunas.wordpress.com/2014/02/21/you-are-a-great-mother/. Secrety, those was a letter I addressed to a woman, whom her writing inspires me much.
Following her pregnancy and motherhood journey, it was always a lovely thing to read. Very humane, not a pretended perfect mom with all those parenting tips and whatsoever. Not an easy journey obviously, but she took it bravely and stood strong for her baby. Despite her flaws, she gave her best shot throughout times.
Reading her posts made me realizing about mother’s unfair nature. We made all the difficulties being solved smoothly so all the hard works went unnoticed. People forgot to acknowledge it, people thought we made it possible as easy as we breath. So, moved by spontaneity, those was a post I wrote as an appreciation she deserves. A reminder during one of the frustrating days she might encounter in the future, that no matter what others said, she is a great mother.
Apparently, she changed her twitter account’s name just when those post was up and those letter got drown in the middle of rushing timeline. I remember I was telling myself, it’s okay. Somehow I believed, the letter would find its time, the better one, to finally find its way for her. Maybe she didn’t need it just now, maybe later; I let the universe decided. And so, time passed by and I’ve forgotten what I wrote anyway.
Fast forward to present time, life’s been ridiculously hard for me recently. Nothing was going right: messy house, discomfort situations, non-stop baby crying, future unsureness, no time for everything, and so on. All was pilling up, causing me to lost control of my temper towards my little Bumi often and it made me worser even more. Frustrated and overwhelmed I was, even to the point of kinda hating myself for cannot doing anything right. What kind of mother I am, I questioned myself terribly.
Been crying and praying for a sign of help, yet it came with a sign of notification on my phone yesterday. More than surprised to see the very name I never expected was commenting my blog post, saying thank you. The very person I’ve addressed the letter in the first place. Two months apart and finally the letter found its way to her as what I always been believing. So relieved, I was.
Further more, we could take it as coincidence, but I believe it wasn’t. As I read her comment, I reread the writing all over again. And I cried.
I forgot what I’ve written there and reading it all over again lightened up something within. Yes, house might be left undone, things might go wrong, we might be judged (even by ourselves) as an incompetent one, but it doesn’t matter. Despite all flaws I have, I’m also a great mother, who give the best of everything I could. All these times, I’ve been doing extremely great; I should hold unto that and keep going strong.
As surreal as it could be, the reminder I sent to others, comes around as a reminder to myself. My own encouragement words found its way to encourage me in return, just right in time when I need it most. As always, the universe has its own magical way of life arrangement.
What goes around, comes around.
The love I receive will always equal to the love I give. I shall have no worries.
Terima kasih, Semesta
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