This is a letter that once I wrote, a week before your delivery, and since then it has always been saved as a draft.
It’s a very honest piece and I think it deserves to be posted, as you might want to read this one day.
So you would know, I’ve always loved you since the very start 🙂
Kuta, December 5th 2012
Hey #nagakecil sayang, how are you inside?
Firstly, I just want you to know that I really cannot believe that you’re almost around!
39 weeks ago, I was looking forward to this day and it seemed like forever.
But now, oh my…. you’ll be around just within days away
Time flies, indeed :’)
I’ve written once before that you are my miracle…., something that impossible but happens anyway.
And now, 9 months after, I still feel the same way. You are my MIRACLE!
Remember, you once were this small on your 20 weeks :’)
And I remember had a teary eyes seeing you moving inside, so happily.
Yes, I have to say that having you is a bit surprising and out of plan, but please keep this in your mind, it doesn’t mean that you are unwanted and undesired!
Never thought of myself become a mother yet, but since the very first day I knew, I already WANT you so bad.
It’s been such a tough journey starting then, if you can remember.
Giving up Seattle, going back home with no exact plan, got into argument with your daddy, moving to Bali to start a new life…
But it’s all worth the ride, you’re just too precious for me.
Yes, there was time when I felt like I almost gave up and quit the fight, but then it was you that strengthen me.
All that I know, I have to fight for you, no matter what 🙂
And soon I’ll see you smile at me and nothing will matter any longer.
You are my #nagakecil, jagoan kecil kesayangan mama…
I have to say, having you is changing my life in a good way.
Though there’s a lot of unsure phases, lot of tears and worries, but I know all of it changed and shaped me into a better person than before.
As you might know one day, your mom ini bandelnya ga ketulungan.
I’m a flirter, a ‘kutu loncat’, ‘ga bisa diatur’, which in some ways made your dad once almost gave up on me.
I’m not proud of it, that was one chapter in my life that I hardly quitted.
But since you’re around, in just a blink of eye, you changed me 🙂
Your due date is on December 14th, can be earlier or later…
But anytime you feel you’re ready to come, I’m ready as well.
The world is cruel, but don’t worry, I will protect you with my life.
Grow up happily and wisely, be strong, be tough, yet still… be kind. I know you will be, because you’re my son 🙂
There will be heartless people make harsh comments about you now and then, soon or later, but please listen to this…
No matter what they say, I’m proud of having you, I’m proud of you 🙂 Nothing in this world can change that fact!
I love your daddy so much, he’s the man that I love the most…
That’s why you’re here inside.
I knew I loved you, even before I meet you.
So yah, till then #nagakecil. I guess, I’ll see you pretty soon 🙂
Mama loves you so much.
Cinta mama melimpah ruah buat kamu :*
Tons of love, to the moon and all the way back,
So there it is.
And after all of this time…
masih selalu, cinta itu melimpah ruah untukmu 🙂
#30HariMenulisSuratCinta Day 2